The Christian Musician's Ego

So, then, if with Christ you've put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it? "Don't touch this! Don't taste that! Don't go near this!" Do you think things that are here today and gone tomorrow are worth that kind of attention? Such things sound impressive if said in a deep enough voice. They even give the illusion of being pious and humble and ascetic. But they're just another way of showing off, making yourselves look important. ~ Colossians 2:23 (The Message)

 The Christian Musician's Ego

So it's foolish for us to think that because we are Christian's we don't have an ego.  I think the main difference between a secular musician and a Christian musician is that the Christian has (or should have) a more heightened sense of how our ego will affect the goal of our music.  We are still musicians and many of the Christian musician's I know  are extremely talented.  But in the worship setting, we aren't playing and singing to show off our talents, we are playing and singing to lead the congregation into worship with the Lord.  So, many times, we walk a fine line.

I believe that as Christian's with a musical talent that we use on a stage, that we do need to be confident.  And many times, confidence can be seen as ego.  So in this lesson, we spent a great deal defining ego and confidence and how we can use the musical gifts we've been given to share the love, grace and mercy of God.

This is the story I shared with them in order to make a point about confidence and the importance of being a confident but not a conceited Christian musician:

Several years ago I was having a great time as a Christian musician; I was singing in the choir, I was being recognized by getting solo's, I was even voted soloist of the year by my peers, I was writing music and just felt great about myself as a musician and that had not always been the case.  College had been rough for me as a musician and I never felt that I was ever as good or as accomplished as many of the other music majors so this was a wonderful time for me and I was on top of the world.  I would like to think that I was down to earth at the same time but when I fell, it was a pretty long way down.

Like I stated, I was writing music.  Songs inspired by a loving God I was sure.  So when I heard about a record company that was going to a a workshop here in my area and they were looking for singers and songwriters, I thought - here it is, my chance to really shine for God!  I had 3 songs that I submitted and was really confident about 2 but was sure that at least 1 would be an instant hit.  The day of the workshop arrived and I was excited, I had day dreamed about the praise and recognition I would receive for my amazing songs!  I picked up my packet and headed off to the workshop.  I opened the envelop and what was in front of me was devastating.  He strongly disliked my songs.  "Awkward, Not Unique, Not So Strong, Meandering, amongst other not so flattering comments that were all over my lyric pages and his comment sheets.  I was deflated and hurt.  That was 12 years ago and even though I've tried a time or two to write something since - I haven't.  My confidence in the world of writing music is gone and I don't if it will ever return.

My point with this story is, we need to have some degree of confidence to be on a worship team.  If we don't believe in ourselves to some point, we will be more of a distraction on stage and a hindrance to bringing the congregation before the throne.   So our job becomes a balancing act - be confident but not egotistic, and learn to recognize when ego starts to take over and bring ourselves back in check.  It's not about us but we are the vessels being used - tricky stuff.

Here are the questions I asked the group.

The Importance of being confident but not conceited

We all have egos to some point.  While I would agree that being overly egotistical, in other words, you are your biggest fan; is not a welcome behavior in Christian music, I think confidence and self-assurance have a respectful place among Christian artists.

1.      We need to find the balance between feeling confident enough to stand on stage in front of our peers and not be thinking so much of ourselves that we kick God off the stage.

a.      How do we find that balance?

b.      How do we keep ourselves from becoming divas or taking center stage?

c.       How will we know when we’ve crossed the line between it being about God and being about us?

d.      Are we mature enough to be called out when others see this line being crossed?

Night Lights by Jimmy Needham

Be Thou exalted over my reputation
'Cause applause is a poor form of soul medication

And I've tried it for years but my symptoms remain
Still fretting the day that they'll misplace my name
Still selling my soul for American fame
Treating the promotion of Jesus like a well-oiled machine
Advancing His kingdom just to snag some acclaim

Now, I'm both comforted and haunted that it isn't just me though
I see a nation of people needing to feed their own egos
Parading status like steeples
Do we not know it's evil to love ourselves
More than both God and His people?

But see, here's where You turn this poem on its head
'Cause the greatest among us came as servant instead
And You humbled Yourself to the point of Your death
Apparently love for the Father's glory runs red

So friends, will we point to the Son till our own flames grow dim?
Will our bright lights become merely night-lights near Him?
Words echo once, let them echo again
Be Thou exalted over my reputation 

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion. ~Philippians 2:5-8

hum·ble

   [huhm-buh l, uhm-] adjective - not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.

2.    We are rock stars to some degree – we are on stage, playing instruments, singing with microphones, engaging the “audience”…….    

a.     How do we stay humble?  How do we display humility? 

b.    Is it “Ok” to be flawed and still lead worship?

3.    How can we pray for you tonight?

Personal reflection:

Give credit where credit is due – God is the reason we are worshiping but are you being your true, worshipful self on and off stage? Are you different when people aren’t looking?

Jimmy Needham is a great but humble Christian Musician that I have become very inspired by, his poem is recited on his album Night Lights, which I would highly recommend. Check him out at http://www.jimmyneedham.com/music/

The songs that I used to demonstrate the humility that we should feel as Christians - and I mean humility because we are not worthy of the gifts that the Lord has given us yet, He continues to bless us even when we are at our worst - are I Need You To Love Me by Barlow Girl and Strong Enough by Matthew West. Two songs expressing a thankfulness that we are blessed and given the opportunity to live an eternity with Jesus even though we don't even come close to deserving it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ubFjn6PjUc&feature=related - I Need You to Love Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8JsRxVczmQ - Strong Enough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icaxX6JTmnA - Night Lights (Personal note, his reading of this, gives me chills)

So to bring it all together - we all have to have some degree of confidence and ego, but when we pair those things with humility and AWE for what God has done for us even though we don't deserve it, I think we can learn to balance our musical gifts and be the worship leaders that God is calling us to be.